Happy Whatever (Contest)
(This is for the Iaf contest Here: Gurgy's Start It was a sunny summer morning in Danville. Irving was sound asleep in his bed. At least, he was. Until his alarm clock, which was right next to him on the table, went off. Radio DJ: Good morning Tri state area! DJ Stankydawg here wishing a happy birthday to... Irving: YES?! Radio DJ: ...no one! No Birthday's today! It's a good day to celebrate nothing at all! Irving: LIES! It's MY brithday you stupid DJ! This is why video killed you! Radio DJ: And if by any chance someone just insulted me, screw you! Ah, i love this job Irving: Oh forget it. Well Larry, you haven't dissapead yet, so i'll tell all abou- Then Irving noticed Larry was no longer there. Irving: Oh, i guess you had to do you're lemur thing. that's cool, i'll talk to you later. Irving left and went to the kitchen, where Albert and Irving's Mom were Irving: Hello brother and mother! Irving's Mom: Someone's awfully happy today....okay who died? Irving: No one died!...Yet. Albert: Please be quiet. Irving: Say Al, isn't there something you want to say to me? Albert: Go die. Irving: No, something else! Albert: Go play in traffic. Irving: No! Something specific to today's date. Albert: Go kill Rebbeca Black Irving: no! Not the day of the week....But i will do that someday. I mean the number of the day, in combination with the month Albert: May the 4th be with you. Irving: Wrong month! Come on, don't you know? Albert: No. No I don't. Irving: What about you mom? Irving's Mom: Well....no. I can't recall what today is. Irving: Come on, not you too! Ugh. Irving left the room. Irving: I can't belive they forgot my Birthday! And this seems real, not one those cliche "they're just pretending deals"! What am i gonna do? *Sigh* ...Hey, where's Larry? /// Larry was now in his HQ, getting his mission of the day, Wanda: Good morning Agent L. Rodney has been spotted visiting Doofenshmirtz evil incorperated recently. Not only that, but he's also purchased one of those quote a day calenders. It's all very susipicous, so find out what he's up to! Larry then left. /// Back at home, irving was pondering what to do. Irving: How could they forgot my Birthday? I mean, even MY MOM forgot! How?! I was always fine with my Butt Monkey-ness, but this is too far! This stinks! There has to be a way to celebrate my birthday, without people knowing it is... Irving heard something coming from the TV in his room. Man on Tv: Don't forgot folks, next friday is National bottle cap day! There, now you have a reason to celebrate. Irving: Bottle cap day? really? It's people make days out of any object they can find! Why do that? Is it becuase you want a normal day seem special? I mean it's like they they celebrate just becuase there's no reason to celebrate! I mean what if I just made a random holiday so people could celebrate! ...Wait that's it! I know what I'm gonna do today! /// Jingle Singers: Rodney manical industries! It was pitch dark at RMI. Not one sound was being made... Rodney: Oh, this is gonna be great! Then, the door opened. Rodney: Gasp, he's here! The light's flash on, revealing a huge party set up. Rodney: Ah larry the le-who are you? Man: I'm the pizza guy. And i'm not larry. Name's David Rodney: Whatever, I'm in the mood for pizza. How much is it? David: 30 bucks Rodney: WHAT?! That's insane, i'm not paying that. David: Nah, i'm kidding. It's on the house. Rodney: Oh, thanks. David then left, leaving Rodney to his pizza. Rodney: Okay, let's take a look. I hope they didn't put any anchovies... Entry 1 by P&I4EVAH! Rodney looks at his pizza and...It's NOT a pizza. It's Larry the Lemur, who jumps out of the box and uppercuts Rodney. //// Irving, meanwhile is still moping about no one remembering his birthday when he sees Katie. Irving: Hey Katie. Katie: Happy birthday, Irving Irving: Wow...You're the only one who actually remembered. Katie: Well of COURSE, silly. I do lo- Irving:..Look, i have important issues right now Katie: Like what? Irving: Like the fact that NOBODY remembers my birthday except you. Katie: That’s bad. I feel sorry for you. Irving: Not even my jerk brother. 'I '''remember '''HIS '''birthdays. >_< Katie: Your brother’s mean. Irving: Yes, yes he is. Katie: I know! Let’s get back at him by having our OWN holiday. Irving: I don’t wanna get BACK at him really, but making our own holiday would be fun. What’s it called? Katie:…Whatever. Irving: Very funny. Now what’s the holiday called? Katie: Let’s NOT do this. The holiday is CALLED “Whatever”, okay? //// Larry: (Translated: So that’s your plan?) Rodney: Yes. Yes it is. I’m going to erase Mayor Doofenshmirtz’s birthday from memory with the Memory-Erasinator. Larry: It says “Birthday Forget-inator”. Rodney:….Oh. I musta gotten it confused with my…..SHUT UP! Rodney pushes a button and a cage lands on Larry. //// Stacy: So it’s called “Whatever”, huh? Irving: Yes. Ferb: Cool. What’s it about? Katie: Nothing. Ferb: Really? Katie: Yep. Irvie and me made it up together. Candace: Awesome. Meanwhile, Albert was looking at the calendar. Albert: May 27…It says “Birthday”…I wonder whose birthday it is. Isabella: You could look it up. Albert: Good idea. No wonder Phineas thinks you’re awesome. Albert looks up “Birthdays on May 27th” on Google and finds the following people: 1. Jack McBreyer 2. Timmy Turner 3. Chip Skylark 4. Desiree 5. Ember McLain 6. Mayor Roger Doofenshmirtz 7. Irving Albert: Oh gosh …Today’s Irving’s birthday! Irving (off-screen): Yes, yes it is. Albert goes to tell the others what he just learned. //// Rodney: I don’t know HOW you escaped from that cage… Larry: (No one does. I escaped while it was still on the main plot.) Rodney: Oh. Wow. Really? Larry: (Yes.) Rodney: Well…You’re still too late. All I have to do is fire this machine and… Larry: (Oh, I unplugged it.) Rodney: …CURSE YOU LARRY THE LEMUR! Larry escapes and goes back to the others, who are all in Irving’s house. Irving: Oh there you are, Larry. Larry: (chattering noise) Irving: So anyway, as I was saying…. Albert: You guys! You guys! Irving: What is it now? Albert: I have something to tell you. Stacy: You want to marry me? Albert: ….Yes, but that’s not it. Candace: What is it then? Albert: It’s Irving’s birthday today. Candace: It is? Irving: See? I told you guys. Katie: Wait a second. What about OUR holiday? Irving: Well…There’s always next year, I guess…Hey where’d Phineas and Ferb go? Meanwhile, Phineas and Ferb were already setting up the party. Phineas: The speakers should go on either side of the stage, Ferb. Ferb: Got it. Phineas: This way when everyone hears Love Handel playing, they’ll really begin to rock out! Back to Irving… Candace: Ummm…Nowhere. Nowhere at all. Irving: Oh. Okay then. I’ll just go out into the backyard and… Candace: No! I mean, why not just stay here for a while and…umm… Irving: You’re acting stranger than usual. Something I don’t know about? Candace: …No. //// Phineas: Whew. The party’s finally ready. Candace: Good. Ferb: Get into position everyone. It’s go time! Irving goes into the backyard and doesn’t see anyone. However he DOES see a giant stage. Irving: Cool. Everyone: SURPRISE! Irving: Huh? Stacy: We were all planning this surprise party for you. Irving: Sweet! Katie: It’s not over yet. Ferb: Hit it! The lights on the stage turn on, and “The Birthday Song” plays. After the song… Irving: Wow guys. That was fun. Phineas: Thanks. We worked really hard on it. Candace: Time to open the presents. Katie: (giggles) Open mine first, Irvie. Irving: Ok. Irving opens Katie’s present: a scrapbook. Candace: Yeah, cuz he doesn't already HAVE one. Katie: Who are you, Ms. Queen of Sarcasm? Anyway let's see YOURS then. Irving opens Candace's present, a CD. Irving: Umm.....What is... Candace: Oh nothing really. You have a CD Player right? Irving: Sadly, no. Irving opens Ferb's present which happens to be a CD Player. Irving: Cool. (puts Candace's CD in) (''Gitchee Gitchee Goo ''(the extended version) plays) Irving: Cool. (opens Phineas' present) Umm...What is..... Phineas: It's a copy of the Guinness Book of World Records. Irving:...Not as cool as your sister's present, but I like it. ~Twenty presents later~ Phineas: Ok, I think that's all the presents. Irving: Yes, yes it is. Entry 2 by Tpffan Rodney opens the pizza box and sees Larry the Lemur. Rodney: Larry the Lemur! Well, you're not going to stop my day now! (traps Larry in one of his inventions) /// Meanwhile, Irving starts finding random objects off the street to make a special day on his birthday. Stacy and Albert walked up to him. Stacy: Hi, Irving. Whatcha doin? Isabella: (comes out of nowhere and gives Stacy the evil eye) Stacy: Oooooooookay....... Irving: I'm making a special day. You know how Phineas and Ferb made an aglet awareness day? Albert: What's an aglet? Irving: You're joking, right? Albert: No, no I'm not. Irving: ANYWAY, I'm going to make a special day. It's called Fanboys Awareness Day. Albert: (burst out laughing) FANBOYS AWARENESS DAY! WHAT KIND OF FOOLISHNESS IS THAT!? (continues laughing) Stacy: Albert, stop being mean. Albert: Sorry, Stace. But that's a stupid name. Irving: Your face is a stupid name. Stacy: Guys, please. Albert: Sorry, Stace. Stacy: Your holiday sounds interesting, Irving. But why did you pick this day for the holiday to take place? Irving: Because it's a VERY special day. For me! Stacy: I'm confused. Do you want to go out to lunch, Albert. Albert: Yes. (they walk away) Irving: What the heck? I didn't even get to explain what we do during Fanboy Awareness. Irving looked to see that...Stacy and Albert are making out and not paying attention. Irving: Gag me with a spoon. (walks away) Stacy: That saying is so twenty years ago. /// Later, at Rodney's place (sorry, forgot the name) Rodney: So, Larry the Lemur, let me tell you my evil scheme. Today is a VERY special day, my birthday. Larry: (rolls his eyes) Rodney: Of course it's my birthday, you idiot! That's the problem! Everyone forgot! (flashback) Rodney: (to his mom) Good morning, mother. Is there something you would like to say to me? Rodney's mom: Sit down and shut up. Rodney: (to his dad) Today is-- Rodney's dad: Friday, I know. Don't start singing Rebecca Black songs. You are WAY too old for that. Rodney: (to Heinz) Hey, nemesis! Today is gonna be a great day! Heinz: Yeah, right. Today I am going to take over the TRI-STATE AREA! (end flashback) Rodney: No one remembered my birthday! So I made this! (takes out an invention) Today, is Mayor Doofenshmirtz's birthday. Of course, EVERYONE knows about it. So this invention will wipe the entire tri-state area's memory so only MY birthday can be remembered on May 27! (evil laugh) /// Meanwhile, Irving walked to the Flynn-Fletcher backyard. Irving: Maybe Phineas and Ferb will remember my birthday. (sees P&F) Phineas, Ferb, today is a really special day! Phineas: Is it Memorial Day? Irving: No. Ferb: Is it National Redhead Day? Irving: No. Phineas:...I got nothing. Irving: (facepalms) Today, I'm having a special holiday. It's called Fanboy Awareness Day. Fanboys all over the world can express their obsessions of the things they love! (sees Candace walking out of her house) Hey, Candace, I'm your biggest fan, I'll follow you until you love me, paparazzi. Candace: Irving, get some help. (walks away) Phineas: Let's help broadcast your holiday, Irving! So, the three boys decided to broadcast the holiday. It spread to popularity very quickly. But still, no one remembered Irving's birthday. /// Later, Rodney: My plan is working! Roger: (walking around Danville, crying) Why did everyone forget my birthday! I thought I was the most popular man in Danville! A random guy: Happy birthday, Rodney! Another random guy: You are so awesome, Rodney! A woman: Marry me, Rodney! A bunch of people: (gather into a crowd) Rodney! Rodney! (continue chanting) Larry takes out a small pocketknife and cuts a hole in the pizza box. He silently comes out of it, but Rodney sees him. Rodney: Where are you going? Larry unsubtly tips Rodney's invention over. Rodney: NOOOOOOOOOOO! Soon, the Tri-State Area goes back to normal. Random guy: Why are we here again? Random woman: YOU SUCK! (people begin booing and walking away) Larry: (leaves Rodney Maniacal Industries) Rodney: CURSE YOU LARRY THE LEMUR! /// Meanwhile, Albert and Stacy are walking, when suddenly, something snaps inside his head. Albert: OH MY GOSH! It's Irving's birthday! I completely forgot! I'm the worst brother ever! Stacy: No, you're not the worst brother ever. Everyone forgets things. I forgot my mom's birthday once. Albert: We need to go to my house. We need to set up a surprise party for Irving. /// Later, Irving: Fanboy Awareness Day was awesome, guys! (realizes that Phineas and Ferb are gone) Guys? Where did you go? (sighs) Well, at least my holiday was successful. (walks into his backyard) The entire cast: HAPPY BIRTHDAY IRVING! Ferb: (blows a kazoo) Irving: Wha...this is for me? (turns to Albert) But I thought you forgot! Albert: Something snapped inside my head, and I thought I forgot something. (hugs Irving) I'll never forget your birthday again! Their friends: Awwwwwwwww! Albert: Shut up! The cast: (sings the Birthday Song) Irving: This is the best birthday ever! Entry 3 (PoptartPlus) (Larry the Lemur jumps out of the box) Rodney: (gasp) Larry the Lemur! And after this whole welcome party I set up for you, too ...Why have you infiltrated my pizza? (Larry, by way of response, spits out an anchovie. Rodney gasps in shock.) Rodney: ANCHOVIES! I KNEW IT! Curse you, Larry the Lemur... (Larry raises an eyebrow) Rodney: Well, a man's got to blame someone. (Sighs, throws pizza into the trash) I can't eat this now. So, I suppose this is AAALLL about whatever I've been doing lately. Well, first of all, that Wanda chick's got her info wrong; I have a WORD-a-day calendar, not QUOTE-a-day. (Larry blinks) Rodney: See that out the window there? (Rodney points out the window to the D.E.I complex) Evil Jingle Singers: ''Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc--'' Rodney: NO, NO! I've had enough of THAT guy for a while. I'm sorry, Larry the Lemur, but I've just been a bit on edge due to DoofenSNOT lately. See, I was always under the notion that I was the greatest Scrabble player in all of Danville--up till last Tuesday. On that fateful day...He defeated me! I came back again and again, but loss, loss, loss! Man, I even bothered to buy a stupid word-a-day calendar to help me, but it's still not good enough! I'm so sick of it. So, I've invented...the Erase-O'Matic! (Rodney pulls a tarp off of a large structure in the corner as he says this, revealing the machine. Rodney laughs maniacally.) Rodney: Now, I can erase those terrible days straight from history, so I'll STILL be the Scrabble Champion! I've tested it, too--every event in history that occurred on this May 27 has been totally wiped out! (Something sparks in Larry's memory--Irving. Larry's jaw drops, followed by a look of total rage.) (beat) Rodney: It just occurred to me that I didn't trap you... // Irving: TO THE INTERNET! Albert: Stop yelling; I'm right next to you! (Irving turns to see that Albert, who is putting on his jacket, is, in fact, right behind him) Irving: Sorry. Hey, where are you going? Albert: I have to go...do...something. I don't what or what for, but I know it's something important! (Albert salutes Irving) Albert: Farewell, fellow dweeb! (Albert runs out the door) (beat) Irving: It's May! What does he need a jacket for? (Irving shrugs and sits down at his computer) Irving: I know just who to tell... (Irving begins to type) Irving: Dear fellow Phineas and Ferb fans...today...great holiday...in honor...of...absolutely...nothing! AND I SHALL CALL IT...What ''do I call it? (Irving consults his own Word-of-the-day calendar, ripping the page off from the 26 to the 27) Irving: (reading off from the page) "Whatever: Adjective. In any amount; to any extent." ...Perfect! (Irving resumes tryping) Irving: And let it be known that from this day forth shall always be the day known as..."Whatever!" Happy Whatever! Sincerely, your fellow editor. (Irving swivels around in his chair) Irving: Now, to see what others think. // (Meanwhile, at RMI, Rodney is dazed after being a bit knocked around by Larry.) Rodney: Alright, alright, Larry the Lemur. I really gotta remember to trap you...so, what will prevent this beating from going further? (Larry, as a reply, pulls a photograph of Irving from out of his special pocket in nowhere and shows it to Rodney.) Rodney: Who is this little dork? (Larry glares) Rodney: Is this that little owner of yours? ...I gotta say, his glasses are positively fabulous. (As soon as Rodney is through speaking, Irving's photograph begins to fade.) Rodney: Wha--?! Larry the Lemur, what just happened? (Larry makes a lemur sound) Rodney: So, I've wiped this kid from the face of history? (Larry nods) Rodney: Well, I GUESS I can reassemble reality for you. But it'll take a while...and by the way-- (Rodney pushes a button on a remote. Instantly, a box rises up around Larry and traps him.) Rodney: Anything to keep you quiet. // (Meanwhile, at the mall...) Stacy: Hey, Albert. What'cha DO-in'? (Isabella walks by, glaring at Stacy) Albert: Tell me, Stacy--do you ever get the feeling you've forgotten something, but you cannot place it, and yet it drives you to make a purchase for someone who you also cannot place? Stacy: Yeah, all the time. Usually I buy myself some shoes and the feeling goes away, though. Albert: Well, it is a feeling I despise. And I swear on my two remaining Nerd Words---I SHALL RID OF THIS FEELING BEFORE IT CONSUMES ME! (Albert's voice echoes throughout the mall, followed by a beat.) Stacy: It's May. Why are you wearing a jacket? Albert: ...Impulse? // (Back in the neighborhood, Irving has run outside. Phineas leans his head out of his own window and sees Irving.) Phineas: Hey, Irving! Irving: Phineas! (Irving runs up to Phineas) Irving: What'cha DO-in'? (Isabella walks by, glaring at Irving) Phineas: We just got dozens of calls from users of your site talking about a new holiday--"Whatever"? Irving: Yep! Phineas: Sounds fun. Anything we can do to help the festivities? Irving: Hmm...can you spread the word a bit? Phineas: Can do! By the way...why did you decide to start a holiday? (Ferb walks up by the window to hear, unnoticed by Phineas and Irving.) Irving: (sighs) Well...it's sorta my birthday. But everyone forgot. (Ferb blinks once and then leaves, still unnnoticed.) Phineas: Oh, that's too bad. Well, happy birthday! Don't worry, we'll spread the word on Whatever, right, Ferb--...Ferb? Ferb, where'd you go? // (Ferb is driving downtown in a small go-kart, shades drawn over his eyes. Trailing behind him is a banner stating, "Happy Whatever!") Random citizen 1: Whatever? What's that? Random citizen 2: Maybe we can just do whatever we want. Random citizen 3: Wow, let's go celebrate! Several other random citizens: Yeah! (A chorus of random phrases are going up through the air now--"I'm going to make my dog give me a bath!" "I'm going to make my dog wash the car!" "I'll wash my dog's car!" "I'll buy my dog a car!" "I'm going to paint my flowers with zebra-stripes!" "I'm making ovens in a muffin!" "I'm taking a nap." Ferb, meanwhile, stops at the bakery...) (TBC) Category:Irving Category:Albert Category:Birthday Specials Category:Gurgy's Pages